Category: Andrei Navrozov

My bright college years in America were roughly the epoch of Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche.  I never read the book, whose title was on the lips of my contemporaries as a kind of mantra of masculinity. But it wasn’t as though they sensed what the future held.  The magic, I reckon, lay simply in the innate ridiculousness of the word “quiche,” so swishy, hissy, and, as one might reflect now, forty years later, tranny.  Just say the silly word and straightaway you’re in the audience of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Some years ago, when my wife and I were in London, a car passed by at full tilt as we stood on a street corner by Sloane Square. The passengers inside were amusing themselves by throwing ball bearings out the window.  One pea-sized steel ball flew just inches from Olga’s face and crashed into the asphalt at our feet.

Seeing that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences understands film about as much as the United Nations understands anything, this week I’m giving out my own Oscars.  Admittedly my choices are the haul of a lifetime rather than of a single year gone by, as I haven’t been to the cinema or watched a film by any other means for at least a decade.

It is an irony of fate, like something out of a Shakespeare history play, that the daughter of a tyrant should have married a man with the same surname as his archenemy and likely nemesis, yet Mrs. Zelensky is not in the least fictional. 

In Soviet times, “nationality” – meaning race – was, just like a subject’s given name and surname, a legally obligatory declaration. The famous “Fifth Line” on his internal passport was part of his destiny, perhaps the most important part, because once he was “Russian,” “Jew” or “Tatar,” his education, employment, and other material opportunities were set in stone. He was labeled for life.

“The past changes so quickly,” a Twitter pundit has observed, “you have no idea what will happen yesterday.”  Not very original, as the gentle reader may remark, seeing the thought is basically taken from Orwell or maybe a writer of a still earlier era, like Karl Kraus, but a sinuous phrase none the less, something undeniably well noted and prettily put.  Try trawling for a mot this juste in The Spectator these days, to say nothing of The New Yorker.

To my mind, today’s sociopolitical climate is a mélange of images from the NEP period, the short-lived “New Economic Policy” of the early 1920’s when Russia’s rulers attempted to combine totalitarian power with free enterprise rather the way China is now openly doing.   What are some of those images?

The Lisbon calamity is estimated by modern historians to have taken 50,000 lives, almost exactly the number that perished in Turkey three weeks ago concomitantly with the collapse of an estimated 173,000 buildings. 

“Don’t mention the war,” advised Basil in a famous episode of Fawlty Towers called “The Germans,” and I reckon the gentle reader appreciates that I’ve followed the hapless hotelier’s advice during the last few months of the ongoing catastrophe.  Obliquely, however, that fast may be broken, rather the way a practicing Orthodox believer may sneak in a prawn or two during the Great Lent, which, incidentally, starts on Monday.

Were Plato alive today, and not in jail for extremism, I wonder what he and his cronies would be talking about in the boozer.  Socrates, certainly, would by then have suffered pretty much the same fate as he did, and the conversation – transcribed for posterity by some sympathetic soul on the Fleming Foundation – would lack some of its former brilliance, but still its likely drift intrigues me.