Corona , Corona 3: A Song in Time of Plague

Thomas Fleming

By

March 23, 2020

Corona Corona,

You’ve hung around too long

I won't get no lovin

Till you be gone.

I went down to the market,

To buy Maddog for my squeeze.

They wouldn't take no money,

'cause cash can spread disease.

I thought we’d order dinner,

Walked to my favorite spot.

All that’s open is a drive-through

For the car I haven’t got.

So my baby’s left me,

Gone home to join her ma.

Says I owe her money

She’s gonna call the law.

I heard there was a party,

The booze was gonna flow.

By the time I got there,

The sign was on the door:

“Until further notice

We condemn this property

This party is all over

Until 2053.”

So I went down to the corner

To see what I could find

Picked me up a girlfriend

Who’d look nice if you was blind.

But I promised her a good time,

Slid my fingers ‘cross her rump.

When she sneezed, I said “Gesundheit"

and “Thank You Donald Trump.”

Cop’s hand is on my shoulder,

Shoves me up against the wall

“Keep your social distance,

Get yourself a plastic doll.”

Corona Corona

Just see what you have done

I ain't got no job

I can't have no fun.

There’s ice out on the sidewalk

and the market’s in a a slump.

Don’t think twice about it.

Just blame it all on Trump.

Don’t blame it on the Chicoms,

You’re a racist if you do.

You’re a wingnut ignoramus

If you ever mention flu.

Flu kills them in the thousands

Kills them every year

But Corona’s three hundred

Monopolizes fear.

Don’t have to sweat the numbers,

No use keepin score

There’s hundreds that are dyin

Who never died before

If it wasn’t for the Trumpster,

Who hasn’t hit a lick,

We’d all be in Daytona,

No one’d be getting sick.

Thomas Fleming

Thomas Fleming

Thomas Fleming is president of the Fleming Foundation. He is the author of six books, including The Morality of Everyday Life and The Politics of Human Nature, as well as many articles and columns for newspapers, magazines,and learned journals. He holds a Ph.D. in Classics from the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill and a B.A. in Greek from the College of Charleston. He served as editor of Chronicles: a Magazine of American Culture from 1984 to 2015 and president of The Rockford Institute from 1997-2014. In a previous life he taught classics at several colleges and served as a school headmaster in South Carolina

11 Responses

  1. Avatar Craig Klampe says:

    Bravissimo. Waiting for the record. Or disc. Or whatever it’s called now.

  2. Thomas Fleming Thomas Fleming says:

    I’ve been discussing this with son Douglas and rock and roll Rex

  3. Thomas Fleming Thomas Fleming says:

    But we gots to have a stanza beginning:

    Corona, Corona
    Used to drink your beer….

    I’ll give co-author rights to anyone who can finish it better than I can.

  4. Avatar James D. says:

    Corona, Corona
    Used to drink your beer
    If only I had Lyme Disease
    It would be the perfect pair

  5. Avatar James D. says:

    ‘Twould

  6. Thomas Fleming Thomas Fleming says:

    Line three has four beats instead of three.

  7. Avatar Ken Rosenberger says:

    Didn’t know no better,

    A buck a pair.

  8. Avatar Ken Rosenberger says:

    Corona, Corona,

    Never had me no taste,

    Might coulda been drinkin’,

    CDC Waste.

  9. Avatar James D. says:

    Does this work?

    Corona, Corona
    Used to drink your beer
    If I’d Lyme Disease
    ‘Twould be the perfect pair

  10. Avatar Ken Rosenberger says:

    I’d just drop the ‘twould altogether, and you’ve got it.

  11. Avatar James D. says:

    Mr. Rosenberger,

    Thank you. I’m working at a Forrest Gump level.