Our times reverberate with observations, which are just as often laments, of the ubiquity of certain objects and modes of deportment with which these are associated.  I doubt that the umbrella and the bicycle caused as much speculation about the future of the world as the smartphone and the electric scooter do at present, though I recall that a New York Times editorial once condemned the word “automobile” as a neologism combining Greek and Latin roots “which is so near to indecent that we print it with hesitation.”

The English language does not seem to have a single word for “old age,” which exists, for instance, in Russian (starost’) and Italian (vecchiaia).  A native speaker can easily spend days or years pondering this lacuna because, whatever its significance, it is significant.  We do not say “young age,” we say “youth,” and at once there opens a very specific psychological and ethical panorama.  None such exists for youth’s antonym, suggesting that language itself does not so much as bother looking in this direction. Yet how can there be night without twilight?

My bright college years in America were roughly the epoch of Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche.  I never read the book, whose title was on the lips of my contemporaries as a kind of mantra of masculinity. But it wasn’t as though they sensed what the future held.  The magic, I reckon, lay simply in the innate ridiculousness of the word “quiche,” so swishy, hissy, and, as one might reflect now, forty years later, tranny.  Just say the silly word and straightaway you’re in the audience of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Some years ago, when my wife and I were in London, a car passed by at full tilt as we stood on a street corner by Sloane Square. The passengers inside were amusing themselves by throwing ball bearings out the window.  One pea-sized steel ball flew just inches from Olga’s face and crashed into the asphalt at our feet.